Bridging the Political Divide for Generations to Come
A friend recently reached out for advice on how she can teach her children the importance of civil discourse when discussing politics. Civil discourse is defined by the Supreme Court as “robust, honest, frank and constructive dialogue and deliberation that seeks to advance the public interest” (Brosseau, C. 2011). The divisiveness of our current political climate and the upcoming election has infiltrated conversations between elementary and high school students across the country - intensifying the ideological divide and preventing students from participating in discussions with rational arguments.
Children are influenced by adult behavior. Research has shown that universally, children not only imitate, but in some instances, over imitate the behavior they see displayed by adults. A Politico poll found that of the Americans who identify with one of our two primary political parties, 1 in 3 said that violence can be used to justify their party’s goals. Also, many adults are partaking in the “cancel culture’ phenomenon, which will have long term effects on our social interactions.
When I co-founded The Policy Circle, a nonpartisan organization that uses fact-based discussions to facilitate public policy dialogues, I wanted to create a welcoming space for women from diverse backgrounds to have informative conversations, build their confidence, and activate their voices in their communities. While women comprise 51% of the American population, they represent only 28% of elected officials. From vice presidential running mates to Supreme Court Justice nominees, women are entering male-dominated industries at historic rates. Rather than collectively celebrating these advancements in our society and identifying opportunities to bridge the gap, we are often only focused on our differences and the ideological conflicts associated with our opposing political beliefs and affiliations.
We all have the right to align with individuals - politicians, government officials, leaders, and others - who advocate for our beliefs and share our values. Nevertheless, as responsible citizens we have an obligation to engage in civil discourse and listen to the views and policy stances of individuals whose political affiliations vary from our own. These conversations will hopefully instil a level of respect for our differences and provide an opportunity to collaborate towards outlining solutions that foster human creativity and flourishment. These conversations may be difficult, but the dialogue is necessary if we have a shared commitment to uniting others for the common good.
Here are few tips on how to engage in difficult political conversations:
Model the behavior. Be respectful, open-minded, and set a positive example. Model the behavior that you would like to see in others.
Start with defining words. People use broad terms that have different meanings for different people. Find commonality through mutually agreed upon definitions for words and phrases.
Set out to instill doubt. Although it is highly unlikely that you will change someone’s mind in one conversation, you can provide the information that encourages them to dig deeper and objectively assess their stance based on available facts and evidence.
Be curious not furious as you identify your desired outcome for the conversation. Whether you are discussing political issues with candidates seeking your vote or people whose views vary from your own, identify for yourself the desired outcome for the discussion. Is it to learn a new perspective? Share a personal anecdote? Propose a solution or a way to measure impact?
Ask “why” instead of judging. Avoid stereotyping people based on who they support politically. Instead, engage in civil conversation and seek to understand why they have chosen a particular policy position that supports their political views.
Choose your words carefully. Use language that prevents people from feeling like they are personally under attack. Use words and phrases that encourage conversation such as “I’d like to understand why” and “Tell me more about”.
Articulate your views using a three-pronged approach. Three is the magic number! It is easy to remember and enables you to express yourself succinctly and clearly. Presenting your views in a multi-faceted manner will offer opportunities for finding commonality and facilitate conversation. Try presenting your perspective from the following dimensions: 1) a personal experience, your values for example a desire for freedom of choice and innovation; 2) a facet that relates to the well-being and flourishing of your community, human dignity, and society; and 3) a facet that relates to institutions and principles.
While we cannot control how our elected officials and political candidates engage in debates, we can control the way we engage with others and lead conversations in our homes, communities, schools, and businesses. Remember: the next generation of young leaders are watching and learning from us. How do you engage in constructive conversations?
In the comments:
A practical book worth reading is How to Have Impossible Conversation by James Lindsey and Peter Bogossian.
Contact me if you are interested in experiencing The Policy Circle conversation framework in your network to develop meaningful relationships.
For weekly tips on how to activate your voice in your community, stream or download The Civic Leader podcast on your favorite listening platform.